* the loveLY. the ugLY.....

Think about it...

2009-10-20T12:53:00.007+08:00

The paradox of our time in history is that...

...we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints.

We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life, not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill.

Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.

Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

Remember, to say, ' I love you ' to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.

Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

~George Carlin

Craziness

2009-04-19T22:18:00.007+08:00

I have come to a realization. I am a nurse by profession, but my mum is an even better nurse when it comes to taking care of our health. She just told me that I should take lots of yoghurt after a round of antibiotics to replace all the good bacteria which the antibiotics might have destroyed.

Darn...I should have known better. And now I'm down with a stomach flu. Sigh...

Anyways, I witnessed an outrageous scene yesterday. I had just knocked off from work and was waiting for the bus when I saw a little girl wandering nearby. She was about 2 and a half, maybe 3 years old...suddenly she stoops down and picks something from the ground. And then she puts the thing to her mouth. To my utter shock and disbelief, it was a used cigarette butt!

And then she just squats there with the cigarette butt in between her lips...then she takes it out and holds it between her fingers, the way smokers do it. I was so shocked. My goodness, you never know what children learn these days, and they learn from a very young age.

When I bent over to look if any adult was around (a pillar was blocking my view), I saw a lady smoking away. My guess is, that was her mother. The little girl continued "smoking" her used cigarette butt which she had picked up from the dirt until her mother beckoned her to throw it away.

I could only shake my head and sigh to myself.

We live in a crazy world.

something's going around...

2009-03-16T12:52:00.002+08:00

Yea...some crazy bug's going around. The Tang sister's are down with something...we're quite sick and all we do is just stay in bed. The very fact that I'm not in bed now means that my medications have kicked in and hopefully the fever won't come back again...been having fever and body ache and headache and bad cough for the past 3days...I feel not so bad when the meds kick in, but once it wears off, I'm back to feeling lousy again. This bug must be a pretty strong one. Hmmm...

To my colleagues...sorry lah, I had to take MC when I'm supposed to be on night duty and I know it looks bad on me since my leave starts right after my night duty, so it looks like I purposely took MC. But I would have died at work and you girls would have to code blue me. =(

Okie I'm hopping back to bed in a while...my head needs some rest. See you all soon...please remember to pray for us...

once in a very blue moon

2009-03-09T00:53:00.003+08:00

I just had the 1st Sunday off in many many many donkey months (I don't really know what donkey months mean but I just wanted to use that phrase, haha).

Why, you ask...
Well, because my roster is always so not nice. Erghh.

Why?
Because my requests don't get granted.

Why?
Well, I don't know...what's the whole point of the request book anyway when you don't get what you request for.

Why?
I don't know!

GAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Anyways, I spent my precious Sunday off with Merv (at Causeway Point, we bumped into Aishah and also Jie!) and we had dinner with Jo (talking about *ahemmm*).

Speaking of Jo...I have a question to ask. Okie........I just forgot what it was that she asked me but it was funny. Darn...I wanted to post it here but now I've forgotten what it was. =P

Haha, oh well...it's time to get to bed. G'nite! Tomorrow I is go to cutting hair with jiejie Eunice! =)

*See Merv, I finally posted something! =P

remembering her

2009-01-24T01:07:00.006+08:00

I still wish she had waited two more days before I got back after my leave...whenever I'm in the ward, I feel as if she's gone for a really long procedure or operation. A really long one...maybe I feel this way because I wasn't there during her final hours.

This is my favouritest memory of her: she was lying in her cot-bed, and I had decided to drop by to see her (I was assigned to another cubicle that day). And then she calls me, "Lydia, come!"

So I went by her bedside and saw that she was playing with her Jack-in-the-box. She looks at me and winds the music at the side of the box and suddenly Jack pops out. I honestly got a scare and I think the shock showed on my face...but that mischievious little girl was quite amused.

Then she says, "Scary or not?" And I say, "Yes, very scary!"

She pauses, considers my answer, then looks at me and says in her little innocent voice, "Don't be scared, Lydia...I am here."

I was rendered speechless.

............................................................................

Well at least now we don't cry when we talk about her...we can laugh at the silly things Putri ever said or did. =)

so weird

2009-01-05T22:37:00.004+08:00

I feel weird. It doesn't feel like a new year has already come and gosh, we're already five days into it. Too many things happened either at the same time or one after another.

Putri passes on, and we nurses are trying to move on...we can't ignore the fact that the bed she used to occupy is now empty (or will soon be occupied by other little children). We miss her loads.

I just feel so weird. My body feels weird. It's like not right lah...I took my first mc of the year yesterday. I felt like crap...Merv and I took a drive up to Malacca to pay Dr.Francis a visit today (since I had the day off from work). Let's just say I came out of his clinic a little more than surprised. He's such a nice doctor lah, so his niceness sort of compensates for the "surprise"...okie whatever that means.

I think my work is taking a toll on my health...quite a number of people have told me to think seriously about changing my job or to look for an office-hours job. Sigh...

Help me, God...

letting Putri go

2008-12-30T20:07:00.005+08:00

I only wish I had spent more time playing with her before I left S'pore for my long leave...sigh. I didn't get a chance to say goodbye, to make her laugh one more time, to tell her one last time that I love her. But how could I have known?

She was the only patient to call me by my name...and she's only two and a half years-old. She could remember every one of the nurses' names in my ward (and we have 40 over staff), and even some of the doctors. How can you not be touched or affected by a little girl who so affectionately calls you by name, asking you to "come here"?

And tomorrow I'm going to walk into the ward with no Putri there. She has always been there (she's never went home since birth), sometimes even for us to complain to. I was already missing her cheeky smile and laughter earlier last week, confident that she would still remember me after my absence for more than a week in the ward...she has an amazing memory and what's more amazing is her vocabulary.

I feel like I have so much to say but I don't even know where to begin...she was like one of us in the ward. I'm only grateful that I have many fond memories and pictures to remember her by. She loved taking pictures and often she would say, "Take picture...say cheese!"

*Thank you to my sisters and Merv for understanding and allowing me to grieve the loss of my long-term patient...and for allowing me to be a little human when we all know that I shouldn't have gotten so attached to Putri in the first place. It really means a lot when you just held me while I cried after receiving the news*

yadiloh

2008-12-27T23:13:00.004+08:00

Okie I'm enjoying myself so much I'm wishing it could go on and on and on...

Today was meet-up day...went for breakfast with Tien Li, Mich, Steph, and Kristin (have not met Steph and Kris for ages!). And then in the afternoon when I was out for tea with Merv, who do we bump into but Darshana, Chan See Mei and another Indian girl whom I shook hands with and who looked like she knows me really well, but for the life of me, I can't seem to locate her nor her name anywhere in my memory...hmmm. And anyways, I was catching up mostly with Darshana la, haha...and now, I just got back from meeting Tien Li and Mich (again), Shan Na, and Qian Hong. Good la...haven't met them in years too...gosh, so much stories to tell. =P

Our family KL-Penang-KL (and a stop at Ipoh and Muar) trip was good! I was just gorging myself with food and seeking to satisfy my cravings...I came back to Kluang very much satisfied and, with what I hope is, a bigger capacity in my tummy (for the purpose of putting on more weight).

Oh boy...isn't it good to be back home. =) Okie I won't say I didn't think about work at all...because I did think about Putri (and I talk about her so much maybe Merv and my sisters are getting bored of my stories =P), and the ward ladies and how the Christmas party went, and out of a sudden today I was thinking if Taufiq went for his operation and if Joycelyn is already back home or not.

Oh well, a new year is approaching in a few days time...how time flies! Again, I'm wishing my annual leave would tarry on...fat hopes, Lydia Tang...okie this is a sign that I must sleep soon because I'm starting to dream too much.............

Good night world! =)

to you

2008-12-14T22:34:00.004+08:00

I is missingness my sisters very very much...

Now I am thinking about Jiejie, Jo, Pris and Jem...and thinking that they're such wonderful sisters, and I'm more than blessed to have them in my life.

I love you, Jiejie, Jo, Pris, Jem. =) Muacks muackssssssss *very very very wet kiss haha*

This is still one of my favourite pictures of us... =)

bits and pieces

2008-12-03T21:08:00.004+08:00

Oh gosh, I just pigged out on a bag of potato chips...if only my sisters were here, then I wouldn't be feeling so umm, guilty. Hehe...

Anyways, Merv is coming tomorrow and then we'll go back to Kluang after my morning shift. =) I haven't seen him in two weeks and I'm missing him heaps. I know, I shouldn't whine about it since Kluang is so near but I don't know why it's not so bearable now compared to when he was still in Penang and we met only like what, 3 months once? Haha, I must be getting my geography and sense of time confused... =P

Last Saturday Chin Fang had her birthday BBQ at East Coast Park and it was pretty relaxing (for me)...away from work and just chilling out with Sangeetha, Sheran (and her entertaining cousins, haha), Zul, Chin Fang, Shan. It was just a different day la...no work, nothing much to do except relax. I was savouring it...you wouldn't be interested in what I do on a typical working day (ask Merv if you wanna know, he knows it in and out like brushing his teeth with his eyes closed =P).

Okie speaking about that, I'd better go brush my teeth now before I put my head into other junkie stuff. Oh boy...such evil cravings. And I'm not even PMS-ing. Gah...

too much

2008-11-18T17:26:00.005+08:00

Working in that cubicle is driving me crazy...the workload is crazy and the patients' behaviours are driving me crazy. Not that I can blame them anyway...they're either just babies or special children who are sick. Seriously, a few days in that cubicle is fine...but TWO whole weeks??! Are they trying to make me go mad or what? It's driving me nuts!! (I'm honestly not exaggerating about the driving me nuts thing...I can go home and still hear alarms and baby cries ringing in my head and sometimes it makes me want to cry)

Yesterday night was just so bad...my partner and I were running here and there, tube-feeding, suctioning, changing diapers, attending to machine alarms (this one drives me so mad because a few alarms go off at the same time and there are only the two of us nurses and we're running from one bed to the other like mad women, so afraid one of the babies might be turning blue).

I looked like a total wreck after work this morning.

I know some of you might be thinking (or might even have told me), c'mon, get a grip and get on with life...why do you have such a low EQ? Don't you know how to handle things at work? You know what, I've heard enough of all those...I think sometimes I'm allowed to be a little human. I have my own bad and good days at work, so give me some grace here to let out some steam and rant all I want. If you know me well enough, I don't think I complain all that much.

Enough is enough. I hope they change my assignment and put me in the surgical side for awhile...or even the other medical cubicle sounds fine to me. Just not that cubicle.

(This post is a result of having been worked too hard)

In loving memory...

2008-11-12T02:00:00.002+08:00

Dear little baby boy...
...you will be remembered and missed dearly...
i wish you could have been around
much longer...
i will miss your precious
(and very scarcely given)
smiles.

Very many many

2008-11-08T00:07:00.003+08:00

I have so many stories to tell, so many things to say....but not enough energy and haven't found the time to do so. =P

Anyways, did I mention that we went inline skating last week? Or was it last last week...oh nevermind, the thing is, we went. We = Jo, Ryan, Merv, me. It was good and fun...we fell (not so much for Jo, though...), we laughed, we laughed at each other, we sweated (sweated? Or sweat?), we fell somemore, and then we went for lunch (at Subway!). Oh, and of course...we skated.

Okie anyways, Merv will be starting work in S'pore soon...yay, I'm so excited! =P Finally I don't have to keep telling him that it's okie, we share the same big blue sky (although it still remains true, haha).

Okie that's all the news I have for you this time...hahaha, so much for having "so many stories to tell, so many things to say". =P

Gah!!

2008-11-07T22:22:00.002+08:00

Was just out and chatting with Sangeetha Sarma today after work and us being nurses, we obviously talk about doctors, nurses and patients we work with. Anyways it's always good chatting with her, especially today since she nicely transfered her patient from her ward to me...

So we were saying that wouldn't it be nice if all doctors were more appreciative of nurses...seriously, most doctors just give us a whole lot of orders. Of course, being a nurse, you obviously have to carry out their orders...but what I'm trying to say is, can they not just do only that? It would be really great if they said a simple thank you.

I remember some time last month, on a particular morning, I was so crazily busy and there was just so much to do and we didn't have enough staff and it was a Saturday (now who says Saturdays aren't busy days? It's unpredictable in High Dependency). So anyways, I didn't get to go for my break the whole shift...I had two patients for lumbar punture that morning (lumbar puncture is a procedure where a patient is sedated and a needle is inserted into the spine of the patient and brain fluid is collected to send for some lab tests), and send one for a scan, one for another procedure...

Anyways having one lumbar puncture in a shift is bad enough...but two within a shift? I was almost going crazy...well, it felt like it. I honestly wanted to cry and was praying so hard that God would make everything go smoothly (I was so scared one of them would actually collapse during the procedure then we have to code blue the patient and resuscitate and all those stuff that make my hands shake =P).

But you know, having a nice doctor around makes all the difference to your crazy day...after the final lumbar puncture, I was just exhausted and really really hungry and was just dying to sit down, and in dire need of a good massage. And then the nice doctor says, "Thank you, staff nurse". You know, I felt like wow, finally someone is being appreciative of what nurses do.

It was just a simple thank you...but it was the most most mostest encouraging thing I heard that morning, instead of hearing the doctors bark more orders at us. Honestly, some of them need to learn more manners. Sheesh.

Okie that's enough of ranting...gosh, did I really type that much? Gee.....hehehehh =P Sorry lah, I just had another tiring day =P

Okie please excuse me...I'll take my leave now...

hsdgghfappl

2008-10-28T19:05:00.002+08:00

Am I to wait for childbirth to redeem me? Oh gosh...that'll be like what, about 4 years time?

4x12=48

Yikes...another 48 times more of agony and excruxiating pain. How to tahan!!! They say, no pain, no glory. In this instance, I don't see how I can achieve any glory or gain from such indescribable feel-like-dying pain. Gahh...

But such is the life of selected women. Help.

Family Retreat '08

2008-10-03T22:24:00.011+08:00

So we had a really good and fun family retreat over the Raya hols, although it was just for a night. Highlights of the whole thing was, we went to Tebrau City a grand total of THREE times over the two days. Hahaha...Jaeson and jiejie was there, Merv too, and Yong Ling came along too.

I will let the pictures speak. =)

This is a great game...it's pure fun. =)
We all learnt that Bill Clinton sings Negaraku and that
'folks' and 'forks'
carry the same meaning.
Hahah!

Here's dad laughing his head off...

And during the game...

Lunch the next day. =)

Hehe, Mum was giving Pris a massage...

Merv loves this. =)

Okie lah, that's all folks...or "forks". Hahaha... =P

R is for Reality

2008-09-11T22:04:00.001+08:00

The wedding's over, and my leave's over...I wish it could have gone on and on and on and onnnn...

But well, fat hopes. Reality finds me back at the ward feeding babies, changing nappies, giving medication, and trying to stay awake (during night shift) all at the same time...haha, okie I'll not scare you, I ain't such a sleepyhead at work lah. =P

So, the wedding...the day before the wedding was crazy. I felt the stress only then...kinda late I know, but haha, that's me. =P Everyone was like Ly here, Ly there, Ly here, Ly everywhere! I was out of the house from morning to night, and when I got home, I had more stuff to do.

I slept only at about 2am...and I went to bed only to find myself thinking and trying to figure if I've missed out any detail and trying to sleep. But I wasn't the only one...jiejie also was still awake, so I hopped into her (single) bed with her and we huddled under the blanket for the last time before she got married and became Mrs.Cheng. We chatted till she fell asleep, which was about 3am...and before we knew it, the alarm clock rang.

At 5.45am, we started bustling around the house like some busy rats, only we are not rats...until Mum came round and said that we're gonna pray as a family for jiejie's last time as Ms.Tang. So in the living room we planted our butts, and for the next 15 minutes, we prayed for jiejie and Jaeson...and of course, us being such girls, there were tears. Well, it's hard letting our big sister go...Mum cried the hardest, I think. But in the midst of tears, we found laughter when I said, "This sounds like a funeral!"

After that Mum said to finish our crying and not to cry anymore in church during the ceremony. Haha, she was the first to cry in church! =P Oh well, anyway, everything was beautiful...jiejie was a beautiful bride, no wonder Jaeson was so nervous when it was his turn to say his vows. =P Heheheh...

Okie I don't have the wedding pictures now, except for these...must wait for the pro pictures lah. =P

Aiyo, sorry lah I managed to upload only one. Kekekekehh...

Eunice Tang is perasan

2008-09-02T21:07:00.004+08:00

Darn it...she was at IT again!!! Read my previous post and you'll know...I definitely did not post that up; must have been EUNICE VERY PERASAN TANG SHU JUAN. Hah!

Anyways, yea...I will definitely miss her. We will all miss her...not that she won't be around anymore. But it will be like...around but not around. If you know what I mean, haha.

She's someone I've grown up with and shared almost everything with my whole life...that's why she trusts me so much, hahahaha! =P She asks for my opinion for about almost everything under the sun. Yes, she even asked me what I thought of Jaeson. Hehe...secret's out! =P

So anyway, let's continue...it's a little unreal that she's getting married already. I've heard that sentence countless times already, and it's being repeated by especially Isaac. This past few days, as it's slowly but surely dawning upon me that I'll now have to share her also with Jaeson (not that I haven't been sharing, but she will soon be "married out" of the family), I find myself feeling sad, yet happy at the same time. If you know what I mean lah...

My sisters and I are pretty tight with each other, so it makes letting go a little tougher. I just hope I don't cry on the wedding day, with make-up running down my face.

Jaeson, better jaga our da-jie well...otherwise the four of us will come after you. Plus my parents. Plus my cousins. Plus a whole lot of people. And more people...

Hahaha, no lah...I trust that you will take good care of her. =)

I will miss jie

2008-09-02T17:52:00.001+08:00

I love jiejie so much. I'm going to miss her after she gets married.

sticky fingers

2008-08-26T23:33:00.002+08:00

It's been raining on and off, the frogs in our garden are croaking their untuneful songs, I'm keeping myself occupied with wedding errands, getting my fingers covered and stuck with super glue, satisfied with the way my deco preps are coming along...

But I miss you.

It wouldn't be so bad if Maxis had different policies. Sigh.

counting down

2008-08-21T17:54:00.003+08:00

I'm counting down...it's gonna be another 14 hours before I smell FREEEEEEEEDOMMMMMMMM!!! Ahhh...can't wait! Well, freedom for just 18 days, but heck lah, who cares...I'm exhausted and it's high time I got some time off everything...

Just another night at work and then I'm off from work (technically my leave's for 2 weeks, but when you plan your days off and sleep days nicely, you get 18 days off work =) It's great, granted that your supervisor's in the mood to grant you your requests).

So, what am I gonna do in that 2 weeks? Well, we were supposed to go for a family holiday (I was really looking forward to it), but now Mum and jiejie says that the house's a mess bomb and we need to get everything into place before the wedding...and so we have to postpone the family holiday...

And what else is Ly gonna do during the 2 weeks? Wedding preparation, of course...I've got a lot of "work" to do when I get back. But it's gonna be fun work...I think. Hehe =P

And I wanna go to Perth!!! It's so ngam that Merv's floorball competition falls during my leave, but...BUUUTTTTTT!!! I can't go!! Jiejie doesn't call me maid-of-honour for nothing, right...you just don't go to Perth and leave all the work to jiejie (mainly because she'll freak out and get so stressed, haha no offence lah jie, just kidding k =P). Hehe, but I still have to complete my deco preparations...I love doing deco lah. If you ask me what's my passion, deco will be my answer. =)

Okie...I've gotta go pack my stuff and get ready for work. See you all peeps...I'm getting so excited I can't feel my pulse! Haha nonsense...buh-bye!!!

I still wanna go to Perth!!

today

2008-08-01T18:15:00.001+08:00

HAPPY NURSES' DAY!
=)

Life's like that

2008-07-31T14:51:00.005+08:00

I was at work the other day when I was reminded of something Mum said some time ago. Well, someone had asked me to do something for another person and I reluctantly agreed to do so.

But as I was going to carry out the favour asked of me, I found myself mumbling and grumbling to myself...as soon as I realized what I was doing, Mum's words came to me: "If you ever agree to help someone out, you should not complain. Just do it graciously, no grumble mumble."

And I thought yea, how true...whether I had reluctantly agreed or willingly agreed, I still had agreed to help. I felt a little lousy after that because I had portrayed, although for a brief moment, a lousy attitude.

Sigh, there's still so much more to learn in life...but that's life, isn't it?

yesterday

2008-07-24T10:54:00.006+08:00

Yesterday I chased after and got up a bus that wasn't mine.

You see, I have to switch buses when going and coming back from work...so last night, just as I was getting down the 1st bus, I thought I saw the 2nd bus coming (at the bus stop across the road) and I thought, okay great! I'd just walk really really fast, cross the road and catch that bus 55 so that I wouldn't have to wait another 15-20 minutes till the next bus 55 comes.

So I walked really really fast and half-jogged across the road...and in my uniform (the dress, not the pants, mind you). I barely got there when the bus was almost going off, but the bus driver saw me waving slightly madly (haha) and so he stopped. Confidently, I got up the bus, sat down, and happily congratulated myself for catching the bus without any huge embarrassment (because in all my 4 years of living in S'pore, I've never chased after a bus before).

And then before I could catch my next breath, the bus turns left instead of to the right...and I was like, ohhh...SHUCKS. I got up the wrong bus. So nevermind, I rang the bell and got off at the next stop and walked 10 minutes to the bus interchange (well, I didn't want to embarrass myself by going back to the 1st bus stop, did I? I was wearing my uniform...and people remember people in uniforms).

So much for wanting to get home earlier. Hah. No wonder I've never chased buses.

The lesson here for me is this: Stick to NOT chasing buses.

And yesterday...I passed by someone who smelled like you. Sigh.

year one

2008-07-18T21:57:00.003+08:00

After working for a year, these are some of the things I've learnt from working in the ward:

- there is nothing like a mother's love. It is a most unusual love, really...

- I can amazingly remember so many nursery rhymes...my memory works, hehe...

- a child can start being rebellious by the age of two. Never underestimate a child's ability to learn and pick up things from the people they see everyday.

- there are naughty little pigs, and there are good little pigs. Naughty little pigs go to town while good little pigs go to the market and get roast beef.

- there are many "difficult" parents we have to deal with...sad to say, most of them are Christians. Really sad...sigh...

- I love working with children. =)

- I feel like having kids of my own now! Gah!

today

2008-07-04T23:07:00.005+08:00

I'm so tired I wanna cry.

I had a long and hard day at work...the beginning of the shift was like a flea market, the end of the shift couldn't be any different. It was in fact, worse. The middle of the shift was not too bad...wish it lasted longer.

And I really have to say...some people are just so plain lazy and irritating and couldn't care less and irresponsible and it makes it worse that they're such sweet talkers. Erghh!!! And I really don't care what you think about me right now saying all this because I'm really very tired and mad and disappointed and I cannot take it when people push their responsibilities to me and say, "Sorry I gotta run" in such a sweet irritating voice...if they're the kind who CONSISTENTLY complete their work before going off duty I wouldn't mind at all helping them out, but hello??!?! They are always pushing their responsibilities towards other people and darn it, it makes me so absolutely mad. Erghhh.

I got onto the bus after work, after such a long day...and the first thing that catches my eyes is this little boy, sitting on his mother's lap, facing her. And he's one cute dude...he's all smiles and he's laughing and giggling and kissing his mommy on her nose, on her lips, on her eyes. Maybe he was entertaining himself or whatever, but he was clearly enjoying himself.

It was such an endearing sight to behold after my very nasty and long day in the ward...and it made me smile. At least there's still some love in this very nasty world.

Today also marks my first year in KK Hospital High Dependency...I've learnt so much and I've had my share of the good things and the not so good things. One year passes reallreallyreally fast. Now I can't wait for two more years to be over...it's not that I don't like my work...I like it. I just wanna get back to Malaysia lah. Let's just say I prefer not to stay in S'pore for too long...

Sigh...okie I gotta catch my zzzzzzs soon. Good night, world...

Faithful One

2008-06-14T00:09:00.000+08:00

Have you ever touched a newborn baby? I don't mean those already a few days old, you know...those that are just born. They are amazingly soft...

Anyways I've been hearing so much news (of people around me) these past few days and I've been happy and surprised and saddened and having lots of mixed feelings about some stuff at the same time. And I'm thinking I'm living in a crazy world where people are getting no better, they are just becoming more and more evil and hard-hearted and careless and...just heartless lah. The future is so uncertain, good people can turn bad any time, anything can happen any time, anywhere.

But in the midst of all these things that are going through my mind, I am suddenly reminded of how God remains firm; He is and cannot be shaken...He is faithful when we are not. And this song just speaks of whatever I'm convinced of...

Love Came Down
(by Ben Cantelon)
When I call on Your name You answer
When I fall You are there by my side
You delivered me out of darkness
Now I stand in the hope of new life

By grace I'm free
You've rescued me
All I am is Yours

I've found a love greater than life itself
I've found a hope, stronger and nothing compares
I once was lost, but now I'm alive in You

You're my God and my firm foundation
It is You whom I'll trust at all times
I give glory and praise, adoration
To my Saviour who's seated on high

Love came down and rescued me
I thank You, I thank You
I once was blind but now I see
I see You, I see You

stale stories

2008-06-08T21:12:00.005+08:00

Woooohh...okie so I have not been writing in here for some time.

Our ward princess turned two last week (she's such a toughie lah...it's amazing), and the price of petrol has gone up so crazily.

We got news that tonnes and tonnes of people were queueing up at petrol kiosks just to fill up their tanks before midnight struck that day...and Jo and I were thinking, what an unearthly thing to do. You drive all the way there and then wait in the car and waste whatever precious petrol that's left in your tank...

And then our dear mummy said (later that night) that we should go fill our tanks up as well. I was like, what??! Okie nevermind...so Jo took the yellow Ford, mum took the blue Ford, and I stayed home. Heheh...I thought I escaped. But Mum came back in a while exclaiming that the kiosk they went to sudah habis petrol. And she told me to take the Kia to other petrol kiosks.

Reluctantly, I went...and in my pajamas. I mean, I coudln't care less...I didn't have to get down from the car anyway. So I made my way to the Taman Emas petrol kiosk and, unsurprisingly, there was a long queue. So I waited...with the radio on and the doors locked, I was pretty comfortable and thinking this wasn't so bad after all.

After waiting for like almost 20 minutes, I was only inching forward and nowhere nearer to the kiosk. So I called Jo and asked where she was. She said she was at Taman Saujana and that I should go to Taman Desa because the queue was shorter. So okie lah, I took off to Taman Desa...

But lo and behold, as I was making my way there, the indicator that my tank was emptying started blinking. I started to worry...what if my tank really kosong and I got stranded? I was in my darn pajamas and my phone battery was dying...

Anyways to cut the long story short, I managed to get home in one piece, with my pajamas intact, my phone still alive, and with a tank of petrol worth RM 100.

Crazy lah...aiyoh.

And hmmm, why am I writing like this? I should blog more...my writing skills is staling away...eeeeeww.

so long, farewell

2008-05-28T17:41:00.003+08:00

I really thought she could survive longer than this...but she didn't make it. =(

Sigh...we had hopes that she would go home one day, and she did; but only for home leave. After nursing her for almost a year now, it's sad to see her go. But it's also true that she doesn't have to suffer anymore.

I'm sad mostly for her parents...they would come every single day after a long day at work, without fail. And then they'd stay with her till past midnight when she falls asleep and then head back home. It is the same for them everyday, ever since she was born. Imagine doing that for a year...

Anyways, she's in a better place now. We could have only hoped for a longer life for her but ultimately her life is in God's hands. Rest in peace, little girl...

one of those days

2008-05-16T21:44:00.000+08:00

I sometimes don't know what to do on my day off work...I mean, it's not that I don't have anything in mind. It's more of too many things I want to do, haha...

You see, I work six days a week...so that means in a month, I have four days off (one day defintely dedicated to church). I have so many things I'd like to do, but it's got to be a balance between church, family, friends (and I have different groups of friends: church friends, Kluang friends in S'pore, Kluang friends in Kluang, poly friends, etc.), hobbies, chores, time to myself.

Today I felt like doing so many things..I wanted to clean my room, do the laundry, read, chat online, shop for a friend's birthday gift, watch a movie, swim, jog, meet some Kluang friends in S'pore for dinner.

I ended up waking up at 10am plus (haha), showered, had lunch, went down to KK to settle some stuff, borrowed books from the library, watched a movie, jogged, showered again, did the laundry, had dinner (by myself lah) and now I'm here typing all of this down.

Not bad, huh... =P

But I really needed today just for myself. No meet ups, nothing (that's why I didn't call/message anyone about dinner).

I've said this many times and I'll say it again...my days off are so very precious.
* Jo, please donate some of your holidays to me!!!*

Energizer bunny

2008-05-05T11:37:00.005+08:00

Okie, it's back to work come Wednesday night...after a week long break.

It was such luxury, I tell you...the last time I took leave was last year, 5 months ago. And after working for 6 days a week for 5 months continuously, with the shifts and all, it reallyreallyreally drains you...

This one week was.......ahhhh! Glorious! =) I don't know how to explain to you lah...it was just good. I really could get used to this kind of life lah, hehe... =P But...but, but! It's back to reality. Must work.

I'll be like a super energized and recharged bunny. Haha. And then I'll keep working till my next leave in late August/early September...

Till then, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, you might not see me in Kluang because I might come back only on weekdays, depending on when I get my days off...soooooooooo, don't miss me too much! But if you try your very bestest and you still do miss me, you can always drop me a note/gift via my sisters/snail mail/air mail/email/sms...kekekekeh... =P

P/S: He's the man!! (David, if you're reading this, I think you'll get what I mean...hehe.)

Happy over shit

2008-04-17T11:00:00.006+08:00

Yeap...the heading says it all. Hahahaha...

After receiving report yesterday morning, I went round to check on my patients...and found this little girl with poo overflowing from her diaper. And I was thinking, "Aww man, did you have to do this? On your beautiful dress somemore!"

So I got down to cleaning her up and when I opened her diaper, I was surprised...so I called my collleague to come and see. She came over and she was like, "Ohhh!!! Wow, this is really good!", in a rather high pitch voice and volume, and that invited the other nurses (who were dispensing medication at my cubicle) to come over to have a look.

"Oh my goodness!! Woooowwwww!"

"Oh this is gooood! I'm so proud of her!"

"This is REAL poo!!!"

"We must keep the diaper and show it to Prof!"

And the diaper we kept till Prof (the surgical consultant) came for the morning rounds. I can tell you that she was really happy. Haha...

Hehe, I was kinda amused by the whole thing...where on earth do you see people getting so psyched over someone's shit? But then again, I think that's because this is a different case.

For you see, this baby had always been having diarrhea for the most of her life (she's only one year and two weeks old, she's never been home yet). As in, really watery shit...serious.

We're rather excited...or rather, I'm rather excited to see her go home. I'm sure the others are also. Now that she's off the Total Parenteral Nutrition (TPN - which goes straight to her blood stream) and she's feeding totally on milk.

And she has real poo to produce.

you tell me

2008-04-15T19:23:00.006+08:00

Man...I don't know what it is, but it has been more than three years now and I still hear sermons from two different churches being preached on the same Scripture verses.

Gosh, it's like........I don't know!!!

It's either both my churches in S'pore and in Kluang pakat on the same portion of Scripture, or God has something very important to say. I have a feeling it's the latter, but I still can't tell what it is...

First, it was the series on the book of Joshua...and then the series on "the old has gone, the new has come", and then the one on the fruit of the Spirit, and then on 1st Corinthians 13 on love, and then just last week, on Jesus being the good Shepherd (there were some others in between which I can't recall now, it's been over a span of more than three years).

I think I could faint with bewilderment...

I'm happy =)

2008-04-12T22:32:00.003+08:00

It. Is. So. Good. To. Be. Home. On. A. Weekend.

Yes, I'm home in Kluang...this is heavenly. It's been a long time since our whole family got together at the same time. Usually one of us would be in S'pore so it doesn't make our family gathering complete. But this weekend...it's just good. =)

two in one?

2008-03-31T22:30:00.005+08:00

Today I realized...
Only you will say good morning and good night to me in the same message.
Canggih lah...you tell the time so well. =P

Amazing love

2008-03-21T11:33:00.003+08:00

Preachers and pastors all over have always preached this message...that it was our sins that nailed Jesus to the cross.

And then I was thinking yesterday.

I mean, yea...it was because of our sins, yours and mine, that Jesus had to bear and die for. It's true. But if you think deeper about it, it was because His GREAT love for us is bigger and wider and higher than all of our sins put together, and that is why He went to the cross. That's why it is said that love covers a multitude of sins.

God's love...it is so amazing, isn't it?

The Ward Princess

2008-03-15T11:23:00.004+08:00

She was bleeding a whole lot...and screaming a whole lot too. It being night time didn't help (I don't know why, but night, to me, makes the situation more critical). Hardly two, she shouldn't be suffering like that.

I know I've only nursed her for as long as I've worked - eight and a half months. But from the very first moment I met her, my heart just melted. She is so darn freaking cute! And she's the ward princess...just like her name.

She brightens me up when I've had a long, hard day at work. Before I would go off, I'd stand outside her cubicle and peep at her from there...she would sense someone looking at her, and she would turn in my direction. When she sees me, she'd give me a certain look...like she's contemplating whether she should smile or just make another face. And then her expression would break into a wide smile, showing all her baby teeth...and my heart would melt all over again, and I'd walk up to her cot bed and play with her for awhile.

So she hasn't been doing very well recently. They say her liver's failing and she might collapse anytime or simply bleed to death. It's such a sad thought. And as much as I know that I shouldn't be too emotionally attached to her, I am. I am only human. Regardless of the many times I keep telling myself that I musn't get too close, I find myself so drawn to this precious little child, and I can't really quite understand why.

When she goes and if I'm not there, I hope no one forgets to call me.

dis-connected

2008-02-29T13:06:00.005+08:00

I feel like I'm so out of touch. So disconnected. From so many things (and people). Like the Kluangites. The only people I meet in Kluang are my family, occasionally Jit (and baby...he's superdad now, hehe =P), and some random people I run into at random places.

The last time I was back was more than a week ago and I was at the Convent sports day. Brought back lots of memories...from the perbarisan to the cheering (more like screeching and screaming, now that I think about it, haha...) and the entire atmosphere lah. It was great. Even greater was seeing my baby sister (sorry Jem, kekekeh...you're still our baby sister =P) run and...AND break records. AND take the Olahragawati prizes. So bangga lah... =)

Can you just imagine, years ago when I was in Form 1 and 2, Ku Sleny (remember her, girls?) was like THE idol. THE role model to follow. THE school icon (for a period of time, that is). Most, if not all, the girls were like in awe of her...I think they almost always fainted when in her presence. *rolls eyes* (I wasn't one of them, if you're wondering.) So anyways, she ran like the wind and broke many records...but I must now proudly announce that Jem has broken her 100m record for Bahagian C (Jem also broke the record for the long jump event). Amazing...and we were all there to see. =) So proud of you, Jemmie...you go, girl!

There's something very relaxing about Kluang...every time I go back, I TOTALLY DO NOT think about work. It's great. And okie, don't get me wrong. I like the kids, and I like what I do...but just sometimes, I need a break from all the routinely stuff that I do. If you get what I mean...

Okie...I can't wait for my long break to come. And it's not till the end of April. Bahh...

Touched By Love

2008-02-12T21:04:00.000+08:00

Chinese New Year this year was really different.

Firstly, because I was working on the eve AND first day of CNY. Felt really bo liao...like I didn't have anything else I'd rather do in the whole wide world than work. But what to do...duty calls. It's a different experience lah...at least you'll feel how those patients who cannot go home for CNY feel. So it's alright, we're in it together. =)

Secondly, my whole family came on the eve and we had reunion dinner......at Pizzahut. Hehe, I know... =P But it was so fun, and I really am so touched that they came...thank you, Dad, Mum, jiejie, Jo, Pris, Jem. =)

Thirdly, because I fell sick on the second day on the way to Muar...I had a terrible headache on the way and it made me feel like vomiting. Good thing we reached my uncle's place before I puked...and throughout the whole lunch, my head felt so heavy and I spiked a fever and I wanted to lie down the whole time (but of course I couldn't so had to tahan till we got back).

So that's my CNY story...oh, and we were sent some love letters in a tin by a family of one of our previous patients. Whenever I look at that tin sitting in the tea room, I feel so touched...I don't know why, maybe it's because of the fact that we nurses are thought of even during celebrations.

Oh and by the way, the love letters? They taste AWESOME. =)

Okie now, let the pictures speak!!

Just for laughs

2008-02-04T17:48:00.001+08:00

Me: Madam pergi mana?

Dani: Pergi slimming.

Me: Huh?? Pergi mana?

Dani: Slimming pooooollll!! Madam pergi slimming poooolll!

And there goes me thinking, oh, SWIMMING pool.

Well, that's my landlady's maid for you. Haha, if there really was a "slimming pool", I'm sure it would be absolutely crowded. =P

And people who wanna get slimmer would actually be glad to wear "slimming suits" too.

Kekekekeh... =P

today

2008-02-03T18:33:00.000+08:00

Feeling particularly lonely today.

Missing you,
you,
you,
you,
you,
you,
and you.

What's your story?

2008-01-26T22:24:00.000+08:00

Everybody has a story. Behind every smile, every laughter that rings, every word uttered, every action committed...there is a story.

Behind every patient, there is a story...but I've never heard of such a sad one compared to this. If I put myself in the baby's shoes, I think I'd grow up regretting the fact that I never got to know my own mummy, yet at the same time thankful that because of mummy, I have life...

If I put myself in the shoes of the older sister, I'd probably grow up wondering why mummy had to go so early when I was just four...

And, if I put myself in the shoes of daddy, I'd probably never forget that time when I felt so bored waiting when my wife was in labour, and I went downstairs to the convenient store to get something to eat or read, or anything to entertain me while I accompany my wife. Only just to go upstairs and be told that she had collapsed during labour and had gone into the operating theatre for an emergency Caesarean section. To save the baby. And I'd regret never having the chance to say my last goodbyes and I love yous to her...

See, it's such a tragic story...I felt so utterly saddened when, bit by bit, the story unfolded before me over a few days. I still feel saddened every time I nurse the child, I even feel like crying when the baby cries...I know, I'm such a crybaby. But I am trying to detach myself, trying not to read into the lives of every patient...it's something I'm still learning to do.

But oh well...tragic and sad it might be, but we have hope don't we?

Can I have that too, please?

2008-01-16T17:18:00.000+08:00

I feel like I need this...

and this...
...and this...
Looks good, wei........must go one fine day!!

You make me laugh

2008-01-15T20:24:00.000+08:00

I was lying on the bed and Jo was online, and so I asked her to open the Hotlink website.

She types something...and then says, "Ummm, it's not opening...there's no Hotlink website."

So I peeped over her head. She had typed: www.hotlink.com.sg.

I turned to look at her and made a face and she's like, "What???"

Man, I burst out laughing. It's almost as silly as SOMEONE who once asked my sisters, "Is there Starhub in Malaysia?"

Each Day

2007-12-31T00:35:00.000+08:00

In a few moments, the day will arrive. It will roar down the track with the rising of the sun. The stillness of the dawn will be exchanged for the noise of the day. The calm of solitude will be replaced by the pounding of the human race. The refuge of the early morning will be invaded by decisions to be made and deadlines to be met.

For the next twelve hours I will be exposed to the day's demands. It is now I must make a choice. Because of Calvary, I'm free to choose. And so I choose.

I CHOOSE LOVE…

No occasion justifies hatred;
no injustice warrants bitterness. I choose love.
Today I will love God and what God loves.

I CHOOSE JOY…

I will invite my God to be the God of circumstance.
I will refuse the temptation to be cynical…
the tool of the lazy thinker. I will refuse to see
people as anything less than human beings,
created by God. I will refuse to see any problem as
anything less than an opportunity to see God.

I CHOOSE PEACE…

I will live forgiven. I will forgive so that I may live.

I CHOOSE PATIENCE…

I will overlook the inconveniences of the world.
Instead of cursing the one who takes my place, I'll
invite him to do so. Rather than complain that the
wait is too long, I will thank God for a moment
to pray. Instead of clenching my fist at new
assignments, I will face them with joy and courage.

I CHOOSE KINDNESS…

I will be kind to the poor, for they are alone.
I will be kind to the rich, for they are afraid. And kind to
the unkind, for such is how God has treated me.

I CHOOSE GOODNESS…

I will go without a dollar
before I take a dishonest one. I will be overlooked
before I will boast. I will confess before I will
accuse. I choose goodness.

I CHOOSE FAITHFULNESS…

Today I will keep my promises.
My debtors will not regret their trust. My associates
will not question my word. And my loved ones will not
question my love.

I CHOOSE GENTLENESS…

Nothing is won by force. I choose to be gentle.
If I raise my voice, may it be only in praise.
If I clench my fist, may it only be in prayer.
If I make a demand, may it only be of myself.

I am a spiritual being…
After this body is dead, my spirit will soar.
I refuse to let what will rot rule the eternal.
I choose self-control. I will be drunk only by joy.
I will be impassioned only by my faith.
I will be influenced only by God.
I will be taught only by Christ.
I CHOOSE SELF CONTROL...

Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness,
faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
To these I commit my day.
If I succeed, I will give thanks.
If I fail, I will seek His grace.
And then, when this day is done,
I will place my head on my pillow
and rest.

by Max Lucado

Celebrating life

2007-12-27T10:43:00.000+08:00

Blessed Christmas, everyone...I know I'm two days late but we can celebrate Jesus everyday, right? Jesus is why we have Christmas, anyway... =)

God's been good...I got to go back Kluang for Christmas. What with my unpredictable roster and all...I told my parents and sisters that I will die-die be home for Christmas. =P (Note: die-die = bermati-matian)

Christmas back home was good...like every year, there was caroling and Christmas service and gifts and cards and loved ones and friends. And in the midst of all the busyness, I was reminded that we shouldn't forget why we celebrate this one special day every year, when so many people out there commercialize Christmas as if it was just another occasion like Halloween. We have a reason for Christmas...so we celebrate it right.

So a new year's coming...and as usual, we complain it's too quick. I've been working for six months. That's half a year...before I know it, it would already be a year...and another, and another, and then I'm done with my bond to the S'pore government. I have a feeling it's gonna fly by...and another feeling tells me there's gonna be bumpy rides along the way.

But that's life, isn't it?

Happy living, everyone... =)

Presently...

2007-12-10T17:45:00.000+08:00

Almost everyone in Kluang I know is at ESPlosion camp including my sisters (and when I called home that day, dad picked up the phone and said that he and mum just got back from watching the movie Enchanted at the cinema. How cute is that? Hehe...), my S'porean friends work, and so there's not much point going on MSN these days. Not that I have much time for that anymore anyway...kekekeh...

Anyways, I've been to a few of the Asia Pacific Floorball Championship (APAC) games and got to see the Malaysian team play, and also sing Negaraku in Singapore...I mean, how often do you get to see a BIG bunch of Malaysian guys singing your own country anthem in another country?? Although they won only one match, I felt honoured to be there.

And if you do not know yet, Mervin Menon was on the Malaysian team (APAC ended yesterday). Woohooo!! His name even appeared on the website, k...so cekap. =) I am so proud of you, Merv, for coming so far...one of your dreams come true. And also to Chris. Congrats, you both! =)

Okie lah anyways, I'm still having the flu. What on earth............................

Updates

2007-12-01T13:57:00.000+08:00

Okie, it's high time I wrote something in here.

Was on annual leave the whole of last week. It was so refreshing, having no work for the whole week...I slept in in the mornings (although Mum doesn't allow me to stay in too late), cooked, washed, watched tv, drive around. DRIVE AROUND. And be driven around. Woohooo...didn't have to do so much walking. =)

Now there's a difference when I drive and when Merv drives. You see, when I drive, my seat is all the way to the front. And when he drives, hehe...the seat has to go aaaalllllll the way back. Heheheheh...

Oh, I'm chatting on Skype with Merv and Isaac now...how cool is this? We're all in three different places...Merv in Penang, Isaac in London, good ol' me in S'pore. So cool...I'm liking this a lot. =)

So anyways, I'm now back to work...with internal batteries kao-kao charged. And a flu that's testing how strong my internal batteries are, hehe. =P

Oh look at that!

2007-11-19T13:11:00.000+08:00

Look at my mummy when Jit brings Caysha over to our place to be baby-sat...I can just imagine Mum when she has grandkids! =)

Whatever, man...

2007-11-12T00:17:00.000+08:00

How appalling. Whatever I take and eat, and goes into my tummy, apparently, determines the life and death of my patients.

Wow.

I must be a great goddess or something.

what makes you smile?

2007-10-28T22:28:00.000+08:00

I read this thing in Joy's blog about love,
and this makes me smile...

"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on
shaving cologne
and they go out and smell each other."

And it's quoted from a 5 year-old boy.
Sweet. =)

I'm still smiling. Hehe...

About there.

2007-10-17T21:11:00.000+08:00

So we talked and talked and talked...and listened. =)

Night shifts are good...

2007-10-11T09:56:00.001+08:00

Yesterday we took a drive down to East Coast Park. I love that place lah...so Jiejie, Jo and I sat there talking till about 8.15pm.

I simply love the beach...although I don't really get much of it. There's something calming about the waters...we were sitting there on the sand, and me was having a glorious massage by the great big sister, haha. So nice. =) And even the sky wasn't too dark...

Reached home around close to 9pm, due to our wonderful sense of direction on S'pore roads. =P But hey, I'm not too bad, y'know...even Jiejie said that my sense of direction's pretty good. =)

So we had dinner at 9pm. Like true Indians...just that we're Chinese. =P

So you see, night shifts are pretty good...you get an extra day for sleeping (it's called sleep day) and today I'm off as well. What a nice change...and thank God I don't have to bring any work home with me.

I mean, I can't take one of those babies home with me, can I?

Dear guys...

2007-09-30T16:48:00.000+08:00

PMS-ing must be one of the most uncomfortable things to experience for a woman. I don't know about other women out there lah, but it definitely makes me feel uncomfortable.

It's easy for me to tell when I'm gonna have a real bad time of a period for a certain month. But then again, when do I NOT have a bad period? Darn! Okie, an extra bad one. PMS tells it all. That's why it's called Pre-Menstrual Syndrome...

Okie guys...let me say this to you. You probably feel uncomfortable when you see a girl/woman acting like not herself, and then you think, "Oh dear, she's PMS-ing! I'd better get faaaaaaar and awaaaaaaay!! Scram!"

Sure it would feel uncomfortable...who likes hanging around people who are grumpy and touchy, anyway? But trust me on this, it's even more uncomfortable for a girl/woman who's going through PMS.

You know why? Because her hormones are topsy-turvy and it's like a bottle filled a quarter with sand, and someone takes it and goncang it real hard. Okie lah, lame analogy...forget I said that. =P But you get my drift, yes?

So what can happen during PMS?
1. She becomes grumpy and grouchy.
2. She becomes irritable.
3. She becomes more sensitive emotionally...like, maybe 5-10 times more sensitive than usual. Sometimes even more.
4. She feels like eating anything and everything, and then craves for more food.
5. She thinks irrationally.
6. She has hot flushes...then, she's literally HOT.
7. She has aches here and there, all over the body.
8. She becomes extra anxious.
9. Some changes happens physically, and I don't think I shall mention them. =)
10. She gets depressed and everything feels wrong.

Of course, NOT all girls/women go through ALL of that, nor does this happen every month. Don't get frightened...

So what can you do to help them? For one, be your normal self, be nice, and don't scram. We don't want to scare you guys off...and trust me, it's not like we like or love going through this phase at all. Maybe cracking a good joke might help.

And of course, DO NOT EVER EVER EVER say, "What's up with you today? Why are you so grumpy?"

Once those words are out, that's it. You don't want all hell breaking loose, do you? Or rather, those rivers of tears breaking the dams.

So, yup...just be nice and polite, and smile and laugh. =)

* A note to the women: PMS isn't an excuse for us to "behave bad" anyway...we must control! I'm still learning...sigh.......

A promise, and not a feeling

2007-09-24T11:26:00.000+08:00

Forgiveness is a promise, not a feeling.

Those seven words put together make up such a powerful statement. When I read that, it almost blew my mind away...I don't really know how to explain the feeling lah.

For me, it means three things.

One, when God says He forgives me, He's telling me that there's NO PROBATION TIME, NO TRIAL PERIOD. His forgiveness for me is for REAL, and guess what? The best part is, He promises NOT to bring it up, ever again, in the future, and He will NOT use it against me nor remind me of the horrible and yucky stuff I've done in the past. Such a wonderful promise, isn't it? =)

Two, it simply means that when I say I forgive you or you or you, I am making a promise never to use your past as a weapon against you. Sure it sounds easy enough...but I guess it really does require a lot of effort, and not just any kind of effort on my own. It's the kind of effort where I need to depend on the Holy Spirit to help me through to NOT DO A THING EXCEPT TO REMAIN CALM AND COMPOSED when what I really feel is like punching the person in the head, or feel like gorging their eyeballs out, or feel like pulling their hair out, or feel like lashing out at them and say, "You did this and that and this and that to me!!!"

Oh God, help me...help me to remember that forgiveness is a promise and not just a feeling.

Three, it reminds me of those people who've said, "I forgive you" to me...they understand what it truly means to forgive, and have kept their promise not to use my past as a weapon against me. To those people, I thank you...you have shown much grace and mercy, and it's highly commendable. =)

the BIG guy leaves town...

2007-09-23T19:36:00.000+08:00

So, Mr.Isaac Lee has set foot on London ground. Hehe...

It's definitely gonna be different when I go
back to Kluang next. No more nonsense from this
guy, no more being bullied by him.

Anyways Isaac, do take care, be good, don't
sleep tooooo much, haha...may the Lord bring you
on a journey of great discoveries and
continue to use you mightily.
=)

1st timer

2007-09-20T10:55:00.000+08:00

It was Caysha's first time to church last Sunday. =)
She got LOADS of attention, haha...

Pardon me...

2007-09-15T11:13:00.000+08:00

Boy, isn't it good to be home... =) Been working my butt off for 11 days straight in a row, no rest in between except for those few hours of precious sleep in between working days. Well, what can I say...such is the life of a nurse. I miss student life!!!!!!!!!

Okie anyways, it's finally my day off and I'm in Kluang. What better way to spend your day off than to be home, eh? I woke up at 10am, such a bum but it felt so luxurious!! =P Heeheehee...

By the way, did you know that Yahoo! has this secrecy code? It's a wonderful thing, I tell you...it notifies you when you've got a new email in your inbox, and whom it's from. But of course, like all good things, they come in small and limited packages. Hehe... =P Muahahahahaha...

Please excuse me, I know I'm high. My day off is too precious to be behaving like a sad monkey. I've even offered to babyseat Caysha during YF time...it's funny that I should have the day off from taking care of babies, but here I am today, offering to take care of one on my day off.

Oh but it's different...Caysha's not a sick baby. =)

*To Ryan: Enjoy your 3 weeks holiday! To Zul: Enjoy your 2 years of army life! To me: Enjoy your 1 day off work! =)

Are you sleeping?

2007-09-03T20:36:00.000+08:00

There is nothing like getting up at 5am. Really.

I get to see Jo talk in her sleep...no wait, she not only talks, she laughs too! =P Hahahahhahahahhh!!!!! Oh wait, and she squirms around in a funny way, the haha funny, not the weird funny...dah lah she has funny and weird sleeping positions, just imagine when she squirms...

Oh boy, priceless, I tell you...and I go to work laughing. =P

Jiejie Eunice doesn't do such funny stuff...only open her eyes and stare at you (but then when she's seriously up after that, she doesn't remember doing anything like that), then shuts them again.

There's nothing like getting up at 5am. =)

We're fifty!

2007-08-31T12:10:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MALAYSIA!!!

Here are some pictures of Malaysia in action, hehe...

Jiejie got this shot when we were in Penang last year. Hehe...

Oh, we saw this outside a saloon, also in Penang. I definitely would not wanna walk into it...Reboning??? Gasp!!

This lady here, we stopped by her stall to eat...umm, if I remember correctly, curry noodles or laksa. I forgot which one lah. =P Sorry lah, so many pictures from Penang. That's because we were there and caught Malaysia in action. Okie, whatever that means. Hahahaha...

This guy here, he's seriously lost lah...maybe he thought he was in Switzerland instead of hot, hot, hot Penang.

Oh looky looky!! It's our very own Malaysian champion for the under twelve long-jump event of 2006! This is something close to my heart, for the very simple reason that she stays in the same home as me, and the fact that she's my sister. Hehehe... =)

Okie that's quite enough for today. But before I go, may I just announce that I HAVE THE DAY OFF TODAY!!! On my country's birthday some more...and another thing...I LOVE MALAYSIA and whoever says I've become Singaporean, better watch out. You'll have to face the consequences when you meet me next! (Like Mr.Mervin Menon) Muahahahahahhahahahhh!!!!!

sizzlin' hot

2007-08-23T21:06:00.000+08:00

We walked into here...

And walked out with this...

Just that Sangeetha's are wedged heels.

Muahahhahahah!!! Spending our hard earned money
on such stuff. But it was worth the buy.

I'm happy.
=)

good night, world

2007-08-16T19:29:00.000+08:00

My tummy is full, I've taken my bath, and I've brushed my teeth.

While most of you in this part of the world would be sleeping and snoring and drooling, I'm off to watch the little ones sleep tonight...to make sure the mozzies don't bite, and that they have a peaceful night in the ward.

Toodles! =)

tingtingtongtong

2007-08-14T21:40:00.000+08:00

Hello everybody...

I have been working for SEVEN days straight in a row, and finally...FINALLY!!! I have the day off tomorrow. WONDERFUL!!! =D

Ahh...I'm sighing a sigh of relief. You really do not know what real rest is until you've worked really hard.

Oh, oh...oh and my sister just called me a DESTROYER MONSTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Gasp!!! The guts of her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Take a guess which one...you have a 25% of being right. Haha... =p

woohoo!!

2007-08-06T18:31:00.000+08:00

First off, congratulations to Jit and jiejie Li Poh on the arrival of their little bundle of joy! I'm so excited for them...they will now be called "daddy" and "mummy". So cool!! When Caysha starts learning how to talk, I'm gonna make sure she calls me "jiejie" instead of "auntie". Kekekeh... =P

I can't wait to see their little girl...I wouldn't mind volunteering to take care of her. Hey, I'm a real expert now, kay. I've had three younger sisters who were once babies...plus I do it EVERYDAY at work. Mum would be so proud of me if she sees me at work now. I can actually change nappies and make milk feeds and carry/pat the baby to sleep super fast. I think I can be a mother already lah...hahaha. =P

These days, I'm more sensitive towards the presence of little kids and babies around me (so much so that I wish I had my own kid now, haha)...I guess that happens when you work a lot with a certain age group.

I like my work. =)

But I meet all sorts of patients and parents. There are parents who could be as cool as a cucumber this minute and the next, errupt like a volcano which has been dormant for donkey years. Scary.

The freakiest one recently was a boy whose parents think he's got evil spirits in him. You know something? I actually did suspect that he was demon-possessed. I can't describe it, but you'll know it when you see it. And the mother was talking to the "evil spirit" one morning, promising the spirit a house and whatever else if the spirit would leave her son alone.

And I was like, gosh...

But I still like my work. =)

How many years is "donkey years" anyway?

name-tags for free

2007-08-04T22:29:00.000+08:00

I got tagged. Never have I done such stuff before, but ah...just for the fun of it. =)

Name 20 persons you can think of and do this survey and tag 5 people:

1. Dad
2. Mum
3. Jiejie
4. Jo
5. Pris
6. Jem
7. Zealinger
8. Ginger
9. Merv
10. Aunty Helen
11. Amah
12. Putri
13. Ong Kay Aun
14. Ong Kay Jen
15. Ong Kay Ti
16. Zul
17. Sangeetha
18. Chin Fang
19. Sheran
20. Bubbles

Questions:

1) How did you meet #14 (Ong Kay Jen)?
She was a few months old and drooling when I first met her...she's my cousin.

2) What would you do if you hadn’t met #1 (Dad)?
Hah! That, in the first place, would have been impossible...but I don't think I'd be where I am today without Dad. =)

3) What would you do if #20 (Bubbles) and #9 (Merv) dated?
Oh sure...Bubbles is a turtle. A turtle and dead. Haha...Merv could visit his grave. =P

4) Would #6 (Jem) and #17 (Sangeetha) make a good couple?
Umm...a good couple? A good couple of blur ladies? Sure...they'd be good together!

5) Describe #3 (Jiejie).
Oh my...oh my. I have much to say. Haha! Okie kidding lah, to cut the long list short, she's great, a clown by nature (=P), we both know what the other is thinking and going to say and how the other is gonna react to certain situations. Life wouldn't be the same without her...

6) Do you think #8 (Ginger) is attractive?
Oh my gosh. NO. He is fat and sleeps most of the time. Lazy ass he's got. He eats pork. Babi. And he's a cat. My landlady's cat.

7) Tell me something about #7 (Zealinger).
Hehe...she's super duper hyperactive. And she has urinary incontinence. Hahahaha!! =P

8) Do you know anything about #12 (Putri)?
Oh this is my cutie pie, how could I not know anything about her? She is so darn cute, I don't even know where to start. But it's a pity...she won't live that long. =( Even so, she never fails to brighten my day at work. =)

9) What is #1 (Dad)’s favourite food?
Ahh...CHEESECAKE! =)

10) What will you do if #11 (Amah) confesses that he/she likes you?
Oh...hehehe. I already know she likes me. She's my landlady's mother and she treats me like her own grand daughter. =)

11) What language does #15 (Kay Ti) speak?
She speaks fifteen-year-old English but seven-year-old Mandarin. Hehe...

12) Who is #9 (Merv) going out with?
Hmmm...Bubbles? Hehe...okie maybe not. I think it's.....his "testosterone outing" buddies. =P

13) When is the last time you talked to #13 (Kay Aun)?
Hmmm. Online? Almost two weeks ago. He called me honey and I called him sugar. Haha.

14) Who is #2 (Mum)’s favourite singer?
Umm, this one is difficult...I think she likes Darlene Zschech. I think. Oh I don't know...

15) Would you date #4 (Jo)?
Sure. We've gone for many dates before. What! Can't I date my own sister??

16) Would you date #7 (Zealinger)?
Umm, maybe not...she'd lick my face and jump at my butt the whole time.

17) Is #15 (Kay Ti) single?
Single BUT unavailable...although she claims to have had a boyfriend before. Haha!

18) What is #10 (Aunty Helen)’s last name?
Choo.

19) Would you consider being in a relationship with #19 (Sheran)?
Haha...we are friends, aren't we? I love her...but she loves her telly more than me... =/

20) What school did #16 (Zul) go to?
Yikes...can't remember the name. Somewhere in Yishun lah...

21) Where does #6 (Jem) live?
My house?

22) What is your favourite thing about #5 (Pris)?
She is so disciplined and responsible! =)

23) What do you think about #13 (Ong Kay Aun)?
He is funny. He is fun to be around with. He is always full of ideas. He is my cousin, one of the closest.

24) What do #4 (Jo) and #18 (Chin Fang) have in common?
They are both blur. Hmmm, I seem to know a lot of blur people. =P

25) What special qualities does #5 (Pris) have?
She has me as her sister. Haha, kidding...she's thoughtful and kind and compassionate and smart. Yes, smart!

I tag:

1. Jo
2. Ryan (just do for fun lah, k... =P)
3. Gideon
4. Shan Na
5. YOU!

twenty-five and more to come...

2007-07-31T23:26:00.000+08:00

Before the clock strikes twelve, let me just say one thing to my parents...

HAPPY 25TH WEDDING
ANNIVERSARY!!!!!

Woohooo...twenty-five years of marriage and what have they got? Five beautiful daughters, three dogs, and a nice big garden. Haha...okie okie it's not about us (sorry for the perasan-ness! =P) nor the dogs nor the garden.

I'm sure Dad and Mum have been through much together as a couple...after so many years, and they're still so loving. =) They have been a great example of how married couples should be, not only as a couple but a couple with kids (and not only two or three, but five), still committed and loving towards each other.

I love you both, Dad and Mum! =) May God continue to bless your marriage, beyond what you can ever imagine, with many many more years to come.

Friends?

2007-07-23T21:44:00.000+08:00

I think many people do not fully understand the meaning of BEING a real friend.

Being true friends doesn't only include the good times and the best of times together...it also includes the horrible, terrifying, ugly, irritating moments. Yea, it sounds so cliche...but let's dig deeper.

The horrible, terrifying, ugly, irritating moments include times when the other person loses trust in you, when the other person is going through something that he/she does not want to tell you and confuses the daylights out of you, when the other person misunderstands you or your intentions (maybe both as well), when the other person deliberately (or maybe not) hurts you with words, with actions, whatever...but instead of being resentful, you still extend your friendship. You be kind. You do not say things you'd regret later. You give them the benefit of the doubt. And although it seems like your efforts are in vain, you continue to care. In short, you do not give up.

This is how I understand friendship to be. After all, God has extended His grace; why shouldn't we?

To a particular friend: You once told me that I sometimes try too hard at being a friend...and although I still think that a person can never try too hard at being a friend, I'll give you your space. Like I said before, it's probably the only way I know how to be a friend...if you're reading this, I just wanted you to know that I'll be around if you need anything.

This, I know...

2007-07-17T18:08:00.000+08:00

Stupid lah. I hate falling sick. I worry myself, and I worry people. Had to take mc today, so I didn't get to meet the kids... =( I kinda miss them, actually. Especially my favourite one (the poor child's a long term patient...been in the ward for almost a year).

Now I know how high fever feels. My temperature spiked up to as high as 39.3 degrees Celcius yesterday. My face was burning, my eyes were blurry, I was so flushed that Chin Fang thought I had a sun-burn, my head was heavy. And I was shaking and shivering, like how the Osim iPamper (haha) shakes...

I will never, ever in my life would want to experience that again. Once is enough.

Okie, so I was talking about the kids...I'm working in a high dependency (HD) ward. If you don't know what that means, it just means that the patients there are more sick than kids in the general wards, but not as sick as those in the intensive care unit (ICU). So yeah...

I'm actually not feeling depressed when I see those sick kids...it's not that I don't have compassion or am so keras hati or what. It's just that I know I am in that particular ward for a reason...I'm quite enjoying myself, actually. It really warms my heart when a crying child keeps quiet when I try to soothe him/her...Mum's right (since when was she not? =P); singing to an upset child will capture their attention. And so I sing songs =)

Just the other day I was reminded that every one of us, our lives are in the hands of an Almighty God.

"Can a woman forget her nursing child, and not have compassion on the son of her womb? Surely they may forget, yet I will not forget you. See, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands" Isaiah 49:15, 16

I have no business questioning God why these children have to suffer...He has inscribed them in the palms of His hands. Surely He knows what He's doing. My duty is to nurse them and be someone they can count on to brighten their day. That's it.

B is for Breathe

2007-07-09T21:26:00.000+08:00

Argh.

I am tired (I felt quite refreshed this morning after a day off on Sunday, but now I'm feeling tired again). One week of work and I'm already so tired...

I never knew I had to attend seminars and conferences and meetings and talks and lectures, accumulate at least 15 CNE (forgot what CNE stands for already =P) points, then can I only renew my nursing license. And this happens EVERY year.

For a moment there, I felt kinda cheated...okie, I still am feeling a bit lah (or maybe I am just so naive and am in great denial). I mean, c'mon...I just want to work as a nurse, take care of my patients. And no one ever told me that when I become a nurse, I have to earn the freaking CNE points!!! Sure, I know we always have to be updated when it comes to all these medical services and whatnots, but...points!!! I don't know why I'm so bothered about this, but I am. Sigh, it makes everything so...legalistic. I hope this is only in S'pore.

My gosh.

And I have a whole stack of assessment checklists waiting for me...I felt so pressured when I was handed them. But I keep telling myself to breeeaaaathe...let's take this one day at a time.

I can do it...one day at a time. One day at a time. One. Day. At. A. Time.

ARGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

loathe ---> like

2007-07-06T21:55:00.000+08:00

I used to hate running...no wait, I mean, LOATHE. Yeah.

That was when I was at the age of twelve or thirteen...no one could force me to go jogging. I'd make up excuses for not going for a run with my sis. All the time. I really hated it big time, like really kow-kow don't like. I don't know why I hated it then, but I did.

Then it got better. I started to dislike running...although once, I got a prize for being one of the first fifteen to reach the finishing line during merentas desa. Haha, but still I disliked the idea of putting on my shoes and run.

Now, I go running without even being asked. Whee...it even feels good! Hehe...see how far I've come. My sis should be proud of me. =P Kekekekekeh...

Okie imagine that's me...except with black hair, and I, most of the time, don't run with dark glasses. In fact, I never do...oh, and I don't wear long pants; I wear shorts. Oh and wait, I'm definitely younger. Much much younger. And I'm much darker too. Haha, okie forget it...let's just forget that I even put that picture up. =P

I'm starting to like running. =)
(And everyone goes, "Oh my gosh, I'm speechless!!")

Graduated

2007-07-05T19:14:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was Graduation Day...I had the day off from work. It's funny...I wasn't all that excited. I even went swimming in the morning, haha. The excitement came only when I touched on NYP ground, when everyone was moving around in haste and it was so hectic and everyone in their graduation gown looked like they came out of a Wizard of Oz movie.

I started getting a little emo when they played the short video clip of our cohort...I don't even know why. Hmmm...so weird. So anyways, I was so afraid that I would fall on stage because, you know, with my height and all, it wouldn't be any surprise if I trippped over my gown...

Well, I did NOT fall on stage...however, I managed to ALMOST fall while walking down the stairs when we were told to line up. Brian went and called my name because he wanted to say hi, so I turned in his direction and tripped. It's a good thing I didn't fall. Hehe...but then again, it might have been good if I did. Think about it...I would have been famous. Haha...more like infamous! =P

Okie I'm getting carried away...what I really wanted to say is, a HUGE THANK YOU to those who came. Umm, my family. Hehe...my whole family came! =)

I was pleasantly surprised when I saw Pris and Jem standing at my doorstep with Mum and Jo...

Jem, thank you for ponteng-ing school and coming to see me even though you didn't even get to come in for the ceremony...Pris, thank you for rushing back from school and through lunch so that you all would be in time to fetch me. Jo, thanks for lending me your shoes although I still don't know how you walk properly in them. =P Jiejie, thank you for coming after your appointment and you had to carry the darn heavy laptop, hehe.

And to Dad and Mum, thank you for driving all the way down to S'pore to attend the ceremony and also for allowing Jem to ponteng school (haha =P). I appreciate and love you all very much! =)

To Merv, Isaac, Jit, Aunty Angela, Aunty Marie, Ryan, thank you all for your messages of love and thoughfulness. =)

To NR0416, we will strive to be the best nurses around!! Woohoo!!! Gonna miss you people... =(

Okie, that's all folks. I've talked a little too much. Pictures will be up when I'm free...heehee. Excuse me, I'm a working woman now okie...

Selamba no more

2007-07-03T22:50:00.000+08:00

My first day at KK Hospital was...umm, kinda not so exciting. We had these really really really long lectures and talks about the hospital vision, mission, core values, organizational charts, who is who and what is what and where is where, blah blah blah...I got so sleepy after lunch. Actually, before lunch also lah...hehe.

Today was more interesting...in fact, it was fun. We went to our wards, and yay, kids! =) For most of the day, we just played with the babies. My gosh, they are so cute even though they are sick. I think they're the main reason why I'm so excited to go to work, hehe. =P So geram, man. Sometimes I just feel like pinching their chubby and pudgy cheeks.

I honestly didn't feel like coming back to S'pore after my long break. From lepak-ing at home then, watching TV and movies and reading to my heart's content and doing house chores AT MY OWN PACE, to getting up as early as 5.20am now...there goes my laidback life.

But I shan't complain.

By the way, did I mention that I lost that ONE precious kilogram I had put on during my break? (Due to being sick, what else...bad tummy, bad tummy) Sigh. I'm so skinny now. Help!

How amusing...

2007-06-27T22:58:00.001+08:00

This morning I talked with me Daddy on the phone. He said, "Men are funny creatures." Now that I have this piece of information in my head, I don't know whether to laugh or cry...don't worry, I still like men. Hehe...

Just now, Jo told me that me Mummy had a dream...the dream was something about Mum and I, and pasar malam, and kayaballs! And Mum was scolding me because I was buying one too many kayaballs, and she had no money. =P Of course there were other details to the dream, but ahh, too long. Haha...it was so funny, I laughed.

Oh, my parents... =)

your efforts are not in vain

2007-06-25T21:10:00.000+08:00

I used to think that gentlemen was a "dying race".

But did you know that there are no gentlemen around? Therefore, gentlemen really isn't a dying race...there are none to begin with even.

If you guys feel like knocking my head so hard till it drops off rolling on the floor, please allow me to say something first. I didn't come up with that idea! It was from a guy! To be specific, Cheng Jae Son. Yes, my future brother-in-law...

Hehe. Jae Son said that men are naturally not gentlemen...they only make the effort to be one.

So ladies, when a guy opens the door for you, pulls out a chair for you to sit, walks on the outer side of the road so that you don't get knocked down, carries stuff for you, do NOT say, "I am capable! I can do it on my own! You don't have to do it for me."

Just be a woman and say thank you. I'm pretty sure that's easy enough. If you can't open your golden mouth (maybe you have golden teeth, I don't know), please at least S-M-I-L-E...work those muscles lah...

Be constructive, not destructive.

And to all the guys and men out there, thank you for making the effort at being gentlemanly. =)

When I was just a little girl...

2007-06-13T15:01:00.000+08:00

I didn't ask my mother what I would be when I grew up; neither did I ask her whether I would be pretty, or rich...and she never answered, "Que sera sera, whatever will be, will be. The future's not ours to see." Clearly, because I never asked those questions...

But when I was young, I had a problem...I couldn't see myself in any other way than being ugly, useless, good-for-nothing, worthless, and everything yucky.

So I had one single goal: to be the best-est daughter among my sisters (they don't know this...well, no one else knows it either, for that matter. So when you people read this, it might be a sudden revelation to you, haha) to my parents.

I worked hard...I didn't shout back to my parents, I didn't slam doors, I did my share of the household chores, I even did extra chores if there were (but of course, my sisters never realized it), and I studied like I should. All just to prove my worth.

But I never got what I wanted: to be shown extra favour. My parents love us all the same (and I'm glad they do).

Yet through that painful journey of discovering myself, I found something else...something much more precious than life itself. I found my worth in Christ.

When I began to see myself in God's eyes, my whole world changed. I didn't just do my share in the home and behaved myself because I wanted attention...but because God's love compelled me to be my very best.

I am still compelled to be and to give my very best for the One who loves me so, the One who has set me free, the One who turned my world upside down.

Well, no one ever said upside down was always bad... ;)
Just don't see it the world's way. =)

my Strength & my Song

2007-06-09T14:36:00.000+08:00

A thousand times I've failed
Still Your mercy remains
And should I stumble again
I'm caught in Your grace
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame

Your will above all else
My purpose remains
The art of losing myself
In bringing You praise
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame

In my heart and my soul
Lord I give You control
Consume me from the inside out
Lord let justice and praise
Become my embrace
To love You from the inside out

Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart is to bring You praise
From the inside out, Lord my soul cries out

Today I'm reminded once again, of the joy of being in the presence of God.

I'm very much like you people out there...sometimes I don't feel like doing my Quiet Time, or feel that I should do it "later", although we all know that the "later" would probably be pushed so far back, it would already be the next day, and then before we know it, the day after that comes, and the day after that...and the day after that. You all know what I mean...

So there I was spending time with the Lord this morning, and I'm thinking, "Being in the presence of the Lord is so good...how could I ever compromise my time with Him?"

How could I? Doing QT after all, isn't about me...it never was, and it never will be. And it really is an art of losing myself, dying to my "don't feel like doing"-ness...something I am constantly working towards.

The Lord is my strength and my song, and He has become my SALVATION.
Psalm 118:14

Does it?

2007-06-08T11:18:00.000+08:00

I've got exactly TWENTY THREE days left...
...till I enter a whole new world
...till I plunge into the sea of green uniforms (KK nurses wear green)
...till I start entertaining parents and relatives who would want to wring my neck if they are upset about the way their child's being treated in the hospital
...till I start saving for my own future

WOOHOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wouldn't I just love it??
Yea, right...it's more scary than anything else.

But.....I WILL SURVIVE!

I'm savouring every bit of my break right now...the trip up to KL (again) with Dad, Mum, and my sisters was good. Although I can't stand KL traffic...especially on rainy days. Ughh. But the trip was good. =)

People say that when you enter the working world, you have no life...but it doesn't have to be that way, does it?

No, it doesn't.

randomLY

2007-05-30T12:45:00.000+08:00

I always FEEL so sleepy and like such a bum

when I'm back in Kluang...

Did I ever mention that I like swings?
And that I need to start using
hair conditioner soon?
My hair feels dry...or rather,
it looks dry. Hmmm. Or maybe both.

I had a good weekend in KL. =)

Isaac's graduation...

We do such silly things when there's no electricity.

Even Aunty Shirly and Mum posed for
the camera...hehe.

once again

2007-05-24T19:12:00.000+08:00

It's been like a roller coaster for me lately...but I'm sort of getting used to it. Like Jit once sent me via sms (I bet he cannot recall =P) : Worry ends where faith begins.

So true...don't you think?

Anyways, my new phase of life as a staff nurse at Kandang Kerbau Women's & Children's Hospital begins in July...and yes, that's the real name of the hospital. I ain't kidding lah, okie...I'll most probably be posted to the children's high dependency (HD) ward (yikes!).

So, be prepared...

FEE FEE FO FAM!
LITTLE CHILDREN, HERE I COME!
(Taken from Jack and the Beanstalk, hehe. =P)

do you?

2007-05-17T22:50:00.000+08:00

Do you believe that there is always a calm before a storm?

I do.

Gettin' attached?

2007-05-12T00:01:00.000+08:00

No, not yet...just gonna talk about it. =P

It's funny...when you turn twenty one, and if you're still not attached, people start to ask why. Okie, maybe in my case I've been asked since last year. They're turning the pressure on, maybe. Or trying to get rid of me...haha. Okie, I know that's probably the wrong-est answer...

Anyhow, I think getting into a relationship requires a lot. When I was much younger, I used to think that getting a boyfriend was easy peasy. You get treated nicely, you get gifts, you say all the nice and mushy stuff to each other, you talk on the phone...basically, you just survive on love and air, and that's all you would ever need.

Now that I've grown up along the way (and hopefully much wiser, too), I've come to realize that getting into and maintaining a relationship does cover a whole lot of issues...of course, you still get the nice things mentioned above, but there's much more to it than just that. And no, you can't survive on love and air alone...

I personally think that communication plays one of the most vital roles...if both of you are not gonna talk about your feelings/thoughts/struggles/problems/dreams/aspirations and whatever's on your mind, your relationship's gonna suffer.

I've come to a realization that many guys (not all...just many) keep really quiet when they are angry, upset, annoyed, or irritated. And it takes a lot of effort on the lady's side to just shush up and give him some space for a bit till he cools down, instead of "interrogating" him and asking "what happened" in that oh-so-concerned tone (the last thing a guy needs in a girlfriend is a piece of his mother) (and hey guys, it's in our nature...we do try our best, you know).

But sometimes, ladies do that (mothering and getting so concerned) because we naturally like it and love it and NEED it (and sometimes crave for it)...and it being, the attention. So I guess most ladies would think that guys need it too.

We often forget that men and women don't come from the same mould...we were made and wired differently (and therefore, our needs are also different). There is a vast difference between how a man does his shopping and how a woman does hers (I don't need to say much more on this)...how much more the way they think. And that's why women need to know that men are the way they are because they were made that way, and men, the way women are because they were made that way. We cannot understand all things...so whatever we cannot understand and change, we accept just as it is.

But first...let us discover and understand ourselves before we try to understand the opposite sex. To the women: discover who you are and how you were made, and FOR WHO you were made (by the way, women are made for men, and not men for women...read the Bible, it's all in there). And what more better way than to go back to your Creator because He made you. And to the men, the same thing goes for you...

I'm currently reading "Let Me Be A Woman" by Elisabeth Elliot...am only a fifth through it, but it's such good stuff. She's a really wise and godly woman. You should get hold of it (guys, not you, okie...I don't know what's good for you, but go to maybe Jit or Yosh or Uncle Ven, or whoever reads a lot if you need a book about men).

next, please...

2007-05-06T21:01:00.000+08:00

Nurses = Nice, Undeniably Remarkable, & Simple Educated Servants

What do they do?
make beds clean buttocks change diapers help patients to pee/poo shower patients serve medication do wound dressings make sure patients don't climb out of bed serve food feed patients give them everything they want/need help them find lost dentures persuade them to perform health behaviours attend to their highly demanding and difficult relatives

(And sometimes, do all of the above over-time)

Really, don't you think nurses are like servants/maids? They do everything for the patient...just that they are really educated, study Biology like anything (apart from nursing modules)...and not only Bio, but also learn bits and pieces of Sociology and Psychology (which are interesting, I have no complains). Just note how much nurses these days need to study...

I am finished with my nursing course. Three years. Three great years. Although at times I did (and sometimes still do) question my (in) abilities, I have no regrets. =)

Now, on to the next chapter of my life...where I'm a young working adult. Gosh.

Lost & Found

2007-05-01T17:19:00.000+08:00

I can't resist announcing this:

I'VE FOUND MY SPM CERT!
WOOHOOOO!!!!!
=)

Hehe...was tidying my art stuff, and found it among them.
Yay for me!!!

twenty-one

2007-04-30T22:46:00.000+08:00

It was 12am.

They found me in my pajamas, lying on my tummy with Jo perched on my butt, giving me a massage. They sang "Happy Birthday", with a one-pound cake held in front of me. They are: my family, Merv, Isaac, and Mich.

We sat in the kitchen around the dining table. We ate cake. We talked. We laughed. We joked (about the fridge. And our teachers. Haha). We laughed somemore. We made noise. And laughed somemore. =)

I had to work today. But it was okay. It was good, in fact...my patient made me laugh. She's so darn cute...she thought she had accidently thrown her dentures into the trash bin in the toilet. I walked her there and both of us stuck our hands into the trash bin, trying to look for her dentures.

We didn't find it...washed our hands and I walked her back to her bed. She was upset...because dentures aren't cheap. I told her I would look for her again...then I asked her if she's sure she isn't wearing it.

She opened her mouth and...TADA! It was there! The whole cubicle of patients and I laughed...it was really funny! =) And the best thing is, my patient laughed at herself...so cute lah...

Sangeetha and Zul came by to have break with me. =) They got me TWO slices of cake...in attempts of fattening me up, you see. Haha...good. I need to get back the two kilograms lost.

David called from Melbourne. Thilaga and Vickee texted from I-don't-know-which-parts-of-the-world. Jit, Ryan, Tien Li, Sangeetha, Chin Fang, Sheran, Xuanie, Sunny, Rui Xue, Shan Na texted too. Jamie wished me yesterday. Haha...

I think as I grow older, birthdays carry a different meaning altogether (for me)...its a celebration of a person's existence. And I'm comfortable and more than glad to have the people I love, around. Doesn't have to be many...I don't even need the gifts. I'm just glad that you, who thought of me, remembered when I was born. Regardless of whether it was coming over to see me, or calling me on the phone, or just sms-ing me.

So that was how I turned twenty-one. =) Thank YOU, all of you!

ding dong bell

2007-04-25T02:38:00.000+08:00

Pussy's not in the well...I am.

Gosh. Do you have any idea how silly and careless I can be?

I don't know where I kept my SPM cert.

Sighhh...was cleaning up my room a bit, and suddenly thought of my SPM cert. I had collected it earlier this year and I remember bringing it to S'pore so, so, so clearly. But now I cannot find it! =(

Jia lat...I hope I get some enlightenment tonight during my sleep.

Gosh. Why do I do such things to myself?!??

Such a ding dong.

Overdose

2007-04-23T00:38:00.000+08:00

You know you've had too much of the hospital when you start experiencing such symptoms:

(1) Looking into your mobile phone, which indicates that you have 104 messages in your inbox, and you think, "Oh, Bed 104...I know which patient that is!" And then you mentally go through what medications he's on, what he's suffering from, what kind of behaviour he displays...

(2) Having dreams of your dance instructor suddenly turned into a nurse, and in that dream, she's passing report to you (during change of shift) after dance practice.

Okie, so it's only two...but still! That's enough...and it's only been like what, four weeks?? Imagine if I were to stick around as a nurse for ten years. Hahahah...

going home

2007-04-20T22:51:00.000+08:00

People often ask me whether it's tiring travelling to and fro Kluang/S'pore. (They think going back to Kluang once in two weeks is too often) (What??!)

Nah, I forget about the long queues and the almost everlasting wait at the checkpoints once I'm home...for you see, being where my family is makes it all worth it. Even if I'm back for only a night or two...

And why do I love home so much? Haha...

Firstly, Dad dances "rap" (according to him, "rap" is a kind of dance! He even performed for Mum, Jo and me once. Jo and I say rapping isn't dancing. Mum tells him that he doesn't dance rap; he's just wriggling...he insists that it's rap. After much laughing and "arguing", he finally agrees that it's not rap. It's breakdance! You can just imagine Jo and I laughing outrageously by now...hehe. Mum still insists that he's wriggling. "Dry wriggling", in fact. Dad says no, it's breakdance...finally Mum shakes her head...but the laughter continues...). I like to see my Dad "in action"!

Secondly, Mum cooks the best food in the world...I simply love my Mummy's cooking. Mmmhhmm!!! =)

Thirdly, nothing beats spending time with my sisters. When we five sisters get together, you can just imagine the amount of nonsense we can come up with, and we laugh a lot (but it doesn't mean we don't talk serious stuff...we do). That's why, I hate it the most when we start arguing (yes, we sisters do argue).

I am therefore, going home again...tomorrow. Two weeks is up. Believe it or not, the longest I've ever been away from my family is only three weeks. After almost three years of studying in S'pore. Well, I have no reason not to go home...

just wonderin'

2007-04-16T20:49:00.000+08:00

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they
are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

Why is it that people say they
"slept like a baby" when babies wake
up like, every two hours?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put
money in the binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
They're going to see you naked anyway.

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

Why does your voice sound
different when you've just woken up?

Do you think Jesus, in His
whole entire life here on earth, ever had
feelings (like, romantic feelings) for a girl/woman?

i wanna go home

2007-04-13T18:20:00.000+08:00

Everytime I feel terrible or lousy, I always wanna go home...

I'm feeling terribly lousy now.

I wanna go home.

(Home = where my family is)

D is for Dreadful

2007-04-12T16:15:00.000+08:00

It has been a rather dreadful week. =(

I can't stand the way that person, and that person talks. I hate that tone. I hate them humiliating me in front of the others. And I hate their expressionless faces. So apathetic.

*God, please help me to love them. And not only to love them, but to seek to understand why they behave that way.*

I just feel so discouraged and I'm questioning myself...what am I doing in this line...and dealing with people's lives??!

I am careless, I am clumsy, I am TIMID, I am SLOW, I am most of the time confused. =(

Because of You

2007-04-08T22:41:00.000+08:00

This is what I am now...

...a wretch turned treasure
...a loser made victor
...a sinner turned saint

...a scum made pure
...a broken being made complete
...a cursed soul liberated
...a prisoner set free

...only by YOUR grace.

So amazing.
So free.
So divine.

Psst...

2007-04-06T00:31:00.000+08:00

I've been eating without being able to taste anything at all...my food, no matter how deliciously scrumptious they look, taste so bland when it touches my tongue. Sheesh...all because of this horrible flu. I don't know where the bug came from! I was sick only two weeks ago!!! Something's wrong!! I usually get sick only twice a year...this is so weird...

And I can't smell either...not at all. It's good, only in ONE way...when people fart. And if it's smelly, I'm fortunate because I can't smell. For now. Haha...but it's bad. Bad because I cannot smell my boyfriend's cologne. Hmmm...

Anyways, I'll tell you a secret...my phlegm and mucus is GREEEEEEN. Heeheeh... =P

And yea, I don't have a boyfriend...HAH! GOTCHA!!! =P

la actualidad

2007-04-01T21:13:00.000+08:00

Points to note for today:

1. Whatever He has put in your heart to do, He will bring to completion. We must have the vision; He makes the PROVISION.

2. We (Christians) are a different breed; we need to THINK, SPEAK, and ACT differently.

3. Where is the coolest place on earth? Answer:
CHURCH!!
(Note: Church doesn't mean the physical building itself...)

Aging

2007-03-30T19:17:00.000+08:00

I think elderly people are rather cute...

There was this elderly lady who had come to visit her husband today...it was around 8.00am, and usually we nurses make patients' beds at that hour. So she, being the loving and helpful wife that she is, sat her husband out of bed and started making his bed. She piled his three pillows onto his lap, stripped the blanket off the bed and added it to the pile...you should have seen the uncle's face lah! He was like, peeking over the edge of the huge pile on his lap. I was laughing...okie, I'm pretty sure you don't really get what I mean. It's alright. But you should have been there!

Later during the day, two elderly lady were going for physiotherapy...one was supposed to walk, the other in a wheelchair. To kill two birds with one stone, the physiotherapist made the one who was walking, push the wheelchair with the other lady on it. They looked so sweet! =) I don't know how to tell you what the feeling's like, seeing them like that...

I like elderly people. Haha...you know, when people get old, they become more like children again...despite the wrinkles and deep lines on their foreheads.

But I heard this young lady today; she had come to visit her father and it was lunch time. She talked to him like he was a kindergarten kid!! Gosh...things like, "Wah, very good, you finished your food! So clever ar..." and "Nice or not the food? No ar? Then you finished it still?" And she was speaking in Hokkien, so can you just imagine...in THAT tone some more. Man...I cannot see myself talking to my parents like that next time! I will not!!

lima sekawan

2007-03-26T18:22:00.000+08:00

I miss you...you...you, and...you.

.........................

Guess what I'll remember from my poly years?

Gursheran Kaur. GK. Haha... =P She is really funny...and her
laughter is so contagious. I'll remember her as one
strong woman, who'll die-die defend you.
Oh, and she'd fight for all women
around the world. =P

Sangeetha Sarma. Gee-la. Sititha. G'****** (secret).
Heehee. She's the blur-est person I've
ever met. She cracks the funniest jokes when
it's really late in the night...oh,
and if you think I'm slow at catching jokes,
wait till you've met her. You'll definitely change
your mind. Seriously...

Yong Chin Fang. Fong Fong. Melena Yong!
Oh, wait...Mary!!! Hahahaha... =D One of the most
friendly and helpful people around. Did
you know that she got proposed
at IMH?? Yeah man... =P It was funny, hehe.

Muhammad Zulhilmi. Sigh...no nicknames for him.
I'll always remember him as this funny
guy (what we'd call "clown" in Kluang...so you should
get what I mean =P). If you catch his jokes,
they are darn funny. He makes me laugh, even when
life's far from funny. And he writes
beautiful poems, I tell you. =)
I'll remember this young lady as one who
was so lost when she started the course. She was even
unsure if she had done the right thing. But she
does not regret her three years in poly for she has
learnt much about life, and much more
about herself...the experiences are irreplaceable.
Sure, she had her ups and downs...no one ever said life
would be easy. But God had it all planned out.
He placed great friends along her
way...friends who now have become like
great treasures. And above all,
He has shown Himself to be most faithful.

If Only I Could...

2007-03-22T00:40:00.000+08:00

To a dear friend:

Things will be alright...although you feel like nothing's right and everything's gone the wrong way. I feel for you. I cannot change the way things have worked out...I would, if I could. But like you always say, "The magic word is 'if'..."

I would make the skies blue-er for you, if I could...
I would make the seas clearer for you, if I could...
I would make the fields greener for you, if I could...
I would make the future look brighter for you, if I could...
But I cannot.

I can only tell you that I will be here.

I know you are strong enough. So with your head held high, do whatever you need to do; I'm praying that you'll fine new strength and hope to carry on...and I will be there to walk with you when you're ready to face the world again. =)

Sincerely,
Me

Zoology

2007-03-21T22:04:00.000+08:00

I sat for my very last paper of my poly life today...and then we hit the zoo! =)

Chin Fang & Xuan.

The sea lion doing a dolphin jump. Nice!

Sheran is part of their family...

Umm...and so is Zul, the geek. =P

Chin Fang & Lionel feeding the baboons.

Sangeetha feeding the kangaroos...

Zul & Lionel feeding 'em kangaroos.

Look at Sheran's face!! Haha...she was a bit afraid...

The group of us who went...Gulshan, Vani, Sangeetha, Sheran, Lionel, Chin Fang, me, Yuxuan, Zul.

Zul, Sangeetha, me.

Low Probability, High Probability

2007-03-19T21:50:00.000+08:00

The Premack Principle...

...existed before even you and I were born.
Before Bill Clinton became President.
Before McDonald's existed.
You see...it's "Pre-Mac".

HAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHH!!!!!!!

Okie, sorry...inside joke. =D Lame...but still, I laughed.
Gosh, there was another joke as well...but no one would understand lah. It was just so funny. Hehe...pardon me, I'm entertaining myself.

One paper done today...yay!

What's there to life if not for You?

2007-03-18T00:04:00.000+08:00

When it's all been said and done
There is just one thing that matters
Did I do my best to live for truth?
Did I live my life for You?

When it's all been said and done
All my treasures will mean nothing
Only what I've done for love's rewards
Will stand the test of time

Lord, Your mercy is so great
That You look beyond our weakness
And find purest gold in miry clay
Making sinners into saints

I will always sing Your praise
Here on earth and ever after
For You've shown me Heaven's my true home
When it's all been said and done

You're my life when life is gone...

bee-zee

2007-03-13T00:39:00.000+08:00

Okie...I have been busy. Busy STUDYING. And...STUDYING. So busy studying that I woke up at 6.00am this morning and the name Talcott Parsons came to mind immediately...but, BUT!!! Unfortunately for me, I forgot from which book his name came from...till I checked him out. Heeheehee...oh gosh.

I need to study more...already I'm clocking three to four hours a day. And I'm actually NOT complaining. Even I am amazed at myself! It must be the "last semester" syndrome...tell me I'm turning kiasu... =P

Apart from that...well, last Friday was officially my last day of classes. It was pretty emo for me personally. Will talk more about it another day...

Oh and guess what, guess what?!! Tien Li told me about this Singapore Youth for Christ 50th anniversary thingy in August, and they are looking for dancers and I got excited and tada! I have a DANCE AUDITION on Friday. Actually, I'm still a little unsure of going for it. I have no idea how auditions work...maaaaaaannn...and I HAVE NOT DANCED IN AGES!!