And you say...

* the loveLY. the ugLY.....

Saturday, January 24, 2009
remembering her
I still wish she had waited two more days before I got back after my leave...whenever I'm in the ward, I feel as if she's gone for a really long procedure or operation. A really long one...maybe I feel this way because I wasn't there during her final hours.

This is my favouritest memory of her: she was lying in her cot-bed, and I had decided to drop by to see her (I was assigned to another cubicle that day). And then she calls me, "Lydia, come!"

So I went by her bedside and saw that she was playing with her Jack-in-the-box. She looks at me and winds the music at the side of the box and suddenly Jack pops out. I honestly got a scare and I think the shock showed on my face...but that mischievious little girl was quite amused.

Then she says, "Scary or not?" And I say, "Yes, very scary!"

She pauses, considers my answer, then looks at me and says in her little innocent voice, "Don't be scared, Lydia...I am here."

I was rendered speechless.

............................................................................

Well at least now we don't cry when we talk about her...we can laugh at the silly things Putri ever said or did. =)
Monday, January 05, 2009
so weird
I feel weird. It doesn't feel like a new year has already come and gosh, we're already five days into it. Too many things happened either at the same time or one after another.

Putri passes on, and we nurses are trying to move on...we can't ignore the fact that the bed she used to occupy is now empty (or will soon be occupied by other little children). We miss her loads.

I just feel so weird. My body feels weird. It's like not right lah...I took my first mc of the year yesterday. I felt like crap...Merv and I took a drive up to Malacca to pay Dr.Francis a visit today (since I had the day off from work). Let's just say I came out of his clinic a little more than surprised. He's such a nice doctor lah, so his niceness sort of compensates for the "surprise"...okie whatever that means.

I think my work is taking a toll on my health...quite a number of people have told me to think seriously about changing my job or to look for an office-hours job. Sigh...

Help me, God...